The walls are a comfortable clutter of neon bar signs, autographed photos of the famous and infamous, and cases of sports memorabilia, including a furry foot from the San Antonio Spurs' Coyote mascot. Road signs show the mileage to such exotic locales as Nepal, Katmandu and "Luckenback," while a large screen TV and several smaller ones carry the current sporting event. After the "intimate" bar décor catches your eye, you can try catching one of the live tank lobsters in a $2 per try "claw" game. ("You catch it. We cook it.")

It's "service with a scowl," as your waiter slams down your generous-size drink and flings a dozen straws into it for good measure, or growls at you to go read the menu board in response to a menu request -- but it's all in fun and part of the atmosphere at this rogues' restaurant. Food is offered in big, stainless-steel buckets, served atop strips of white butcher paper, with waiters affixing large, plastic bibs around diners' necks that proclaim, "I got crabs at Dick's." It's all the better to save your duds from the big, sloppy beef ribs, messy honey-roasted chicken and finger-lickin' crab legs and shrimp, all of which call for the use of one's fingers rather than silverware.

Utensils are also available for such succulent treats as "Mae West Chicken Breast" (there are two, of course) and "Oodles of Noodles with Grilled or Blackened Chicken Breast." There are meatless options for vegetarians and a lunch selection of burgers/sandwiches/salads that should please just about anyone.

In the evenings, Dick's can go from rowdy to bawdy and their Bachelorette and Divorce Parties (bring in an old wedding photo for free souvenir) are "colorful" in every sense of the word and feature balloon sculpture beyond the innocuous balloons passed out to the kiddies there at lunch. It seems as if someone is always celebrating a birthday at Dick's, and the audience participation in the birthday song sing-along is encouraged in Dick's signature style of "very loud" and "very off-key."

The music is top notch, featuring the inimitable Bett Butler, San Antonio's queen of blues, jazz and everything from old standards to spicy originals. Bett has tickled the ivories at Dick's during happy hour nightly since 1986 and has several albums under her petite belt, including "Songs for Dick's Last Resort" and the soon to be released "Short Stories," a collection of original tunes reflecting her blues, R&B, Latin, and jazz influences. She keeps the rowdy audiences involved with her witty repartee and such originals as "She Ain't Gettin' Older, She's Gettin' Better" and "The Ballad of Sonny Blisters and the Chili Queen," whose husband happily passes on with "full stomach and a happy heart" -- much like Dick's departing-for-the-night-only patrons. Her act is followed by The River Rats and Breakthrough on different nights, both bands carrying on in the same crowd-pleasing, audience-interactive style.

"A great beer joint with good 'greezy' grub is hard to find," says Dick. Hey, you've found it!